Shell game

Begin forwarded message:

>From the csh (c shell):

% make 'heads or tails of all this'

Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make sense

Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

% make mistake

Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.

% make bottle.open

Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% make love

Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% got a light?

No match.

% sleep with me

bad character

% man: Why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.

% rm God

rm: God nonexistent

% \(-

(-: Command not found.

% rm -i God

rm: remove God? y

% ls God

God not found

% make light

Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.

% date me

You are not superuser: date not set

Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

% If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?

Too many )'s.

% * How would you describe George Bush

*: Ambiguous.

% %Vice-President

%Vice-President: No such job.

% ls Meese-Ethics

Meese-Ethics not found

% "How would you rate Reagan's senility?

Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

Missing ].

% ^How did the^sex change operation go?

Modifier failed.

% cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex

% more sex

sex: Permission denied

% who is my match?

No match.

% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i

Democratic_Platform unreadable

% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"

awk: syntax error near line 1

awk: bailing out near line

% 'thou shalt not commit adultery'

thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.

And from the bourne shell (sh):

$ drink < bottle;opener

bottle: cannot open

opener: not found

$ test my argument

test: too many arguments

$ "Amelia Earhart"

Amelia Earhart: not found

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense

no sense in pretending!

$ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages

$ mkdir matter;cat > matter

matter: cannot create

$ lost

lost: not found

$ found

found: not found

$ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i

Hoffa: cannot execute

rm: Hoffa nonexistent

The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so

I suppose

that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such:

% sccs what bottle

can't open bottle (26)

$ cat "door: paws too slippery"

can't open door: paws too slippery

$ cat food_in_tin_cans

cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans