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Shell game
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Shell game


  • Subject: Shell game
  • From: Michelle Steiner <email@hidden>
  • Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2006 19:36:48 -0700



Begin forwarded message:

 >From the csh (c shell):


 % make 'heads or tails of all this'

 Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.


 % make sense

 Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.


 % make mistake

 Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.


 % make bottle.open

 Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.


 % make love

 Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.


 % got a light?

 No match.


 % sleep with me

 bad character


 % man: Why did you get a divorce?

 man:: Too many arguments.


 % rm God

 rm: God nonexistent


 % \(-

 (-: Command not found.


 % rm -i God

 rm: remove God? y


 % ls God

 God not found


 % make light

 Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.


 % date me

 You are not superuser: date not set

 Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988


 % If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?

 Too many )'s.


 % * How would you describe George Bush

 *: Ambiguous.


 % %Vice-President

 %Vice-President: No such job.


 % ls Meese-Ethics

 Meese-Ethics not found


 % "How would you rate Reagan's senility?

 Unmatched ".


 % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?

 Missing ].


 % ^How did the^sex change operation go?

 Modifier failed.


 % cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex

 % more sex

 sex: Permission denied


 % who is my match?

 No match.


 % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i

 Democratic_Platform unreadable


 % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"

 awk: syntax error near line 1

 awk: bailing out near line


 % 'thou shalt not commit adultery'

 thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.



 And from the bourne shell (sh):


 $ drink < bottle;opener

 bottle: cannot open

 opener: not found


 $ test my argument

 test: too many arguments


 $ "Amelia Earhart"

 Amelia Earhart: not found


 $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense

 no sense in pretending!


 $ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages

 $ mkdir matter;cat > matter

 matter: cannot create


 $ lost

 lost: not found


 $ found

 found: not found


 $ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i

 Hoffa: cannot execute

 rm: Hoffa nonexistent



 The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so

I suppose

 that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such:


 % sccs what bottle

 can't open bottle (26)


 $ cat "door: paws too slippery"

 can't open door: paws too slippery


 $ cat food_in_tin_cans

 cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans



-- 
Will Rogers never met George W. Bush


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