Buttered Cats
Buttered Cats
- Subject: Buttered Cats
- From: "Anthony Sanna" <email@hidden>
- Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 18:32:17 -0600
Found this on the web at Geoffrey's Geek Guide
CATS & BUTTERED BREAD: THE THEOREM
Question: "If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will always drop
butter side down. But when you drop a cat it will always land on its
feet. What would happen if you took a piece of buttered bread, strapped
it on the back of a cat (butter side up) and dropped both?"
Answer: "Even if you're too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should
be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that
the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline
aerodynamics demand that the cat cannot land on its back.
If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to
resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.
That's right! You've discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat
will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-
twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point
can be modified by scraping off some of the butter - providing lift - or
removing some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle
to drive their ships within planetary systems. The loud humming heard by
most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred cats.
The one obvious danger, of course, arises if the cats manage to eat the
bread off their backs. In this case they will instantly plummet.
Naturally the cats will land on their feet but this generally doesn't do
them much good, since right after they make their landing several tons of
red-hot starship and irritated aliens crash on top of them."
--
Anthony R. Sanna
SACO Foods, Inc.
6120 University Avenue
Middleton, WI 53562
1-800-373-7226
email@hidden
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