(Old spectros....revisited) Re: Colorsync-users Digest, Vol 3, Issue 405
(Old spectros....revisited) Re: Colorsync-users Digest, Vol 3, Issue 405
- Subject: (Old spectros....revisited) Re: Colorsync-users Digest, Vol 3, Issue 405
- From: Terry Wyse <email@hidden>
- Date: Thu, 30 Nov 2006 06:24:44 -0500
Apparently this "old spectro" disease has spread all the way to the
Left Coast to the hallowed halls of Left Dakota (Left Coast/Dakota?
How INappropriate). Now, honestly, how long did it take you to make
up....I MEAN "RESEARCH" this instrument?
Speaking of "The Disease", reminds me of a line I gave to Carrie
Fisher back in the early 80s....
"The Farce is strong in my family. My father has it, I have
it,....and my SISTER has it." Thank you, Sister Magnusson. I have
been truly humbled.
May the Farce be with you (and also with you),
Luke Skywalker
P.S. See you in a few days. I will toast you with a glass held high
of the beverage of your choice and sing the praises of Sister
Magnusson to the rest of the High Priests of Color Management as we
gather this Saturday.
On Nov 30, 2006, at 3:04 AM, Eric Magnusson wrote:
Terry,
As you know, I worked for LightSource (who created the ColorTron)
and MAN
were we ahead of our time. Great software....and uh, stylish
hardware.
But you got me thinking of the past (and rolling on the floor), and I
thought oh, what my great-great-grandfather would have given for a
spectrophotometer that could have been pulled by oxen or draft
horses!!!
Alas, he - due to his fate of being born in Sweden in the early
1840's, and
his subsequent move to the plains of South Dakota in the 1880's [a
place
known to contain no trees or practical fuel - save buffalo
droppings] did
not have the luxury of steam driven spectrometric devices. And
propane or
natural gas simply was not an option.
Well, he and a consortium of Norwegians (and one Irishman named Lewis)
formed the "Great Missouri Spectrophotometer Company." It was a
company
whose founding principle was to "express every unique color in a
unique
way."
During the summer of '86-'87 they laid the foundation and constructed
arguably he first color measurement device - nick-named "Big Bertha."
It consisted of one giant Dutch windmill by which (through a series
of cogs
and leather belts) the giant spring was wound.
Once the measurement staff was removed to a save distance, the
activation
lever would be thrown. The spring would provide the mechanical
power to run
the modified grain elevator - lifting the canon ball up the gantry
to its
apex, after which the ball would plummet down to the 4 gallon
charge of
nitro-glycerine below.
The resulting flash of light (well...explosion) would be
momentarily be
reflected off the surface being measured (prior to the subsequent
destruction of the surface being measured) and, through a clever
arrangement
of mirrors and lenses, would be directed and focused outward
towards the
"filters" located in the windows of 16 small sod huts which circled
the
"illumination pit." [Like X-Rite, they thought 16 measurements were
just
fine.]
I put the word "filters" in quotations, because the fact that they
had no
sophisticated filters or gel packs, did not stop them from creating
their
own "cowboy" narrow band filters. This was accomplished by taking
two panes
of glass, and filling the space between them with a variety of colored
alcoholic beverages (for example the green filter was Absinthe, the
blue
filter was Blue Curacao, and the red filter was a Cosmopolitan, etc.).
Well the light, flowing through these "filters" would shine on a
silver/copper alloy plate (bathed in lemon juice) and the resulting
trickle
of electrical energy would be transformed into the measurement data
via "The
Great Harmonium Inducer."
Which, of course, consisted of a mammoth paddle wheel, sunk in the
east bank
of the wild Missouri River (and it rivalled in size the great wheel
of the
London Central Water Pumping Authority [which is to say, four
stories up,
and four stories down]). The axle of which was connected to an
Edison "Queen
Mary Class" DC generator. The resulting electrical current was
funnelled to
16 racks of wire wrapped tuning forks in each of the sod huts (and
these
were connected, of course, to the silver/copper alloy plates), and
to 16
microphones, and to each of the 16 uniquely tuned lighthouse fog
horns, one
of which was also located in each hut.
Thusly, each photometric measurement was transmogrified into
singularly
unique and EXTREMELY LOUD "audio chords" which bellowed and rolled
across
the plains of the Dakotas, and Minnesota......and Nebraska (and
were also
recorded by the "color committee" which consisted of 2 choral and 2
orchestral conductors - in a bunker.).
They could measure one color per day.
Alas, after measuring only 30 patches of the ECI2002 chart, Big
Bertha was
attacked and destroyed by a consortium of Dakota, Lakota, Mandan,
Omaha,
Winnebago, Chippewa, and Ojibwe tribes, setting color measurement back
years....until Sears & Roebuck got into the act in 1919 (as you know).
You had to, of course, provide your own horses to
transport the unit. The 1921 unit was actually an improvement over
the
previous generation's coal-fired power unit and oxen-pulled carriage.
Alright...alright, I promise never to post something like this again.
--
Eric Magnusson
President
Left Dakota
16618 Kelsloan St.
Van Nuys, CA 91406
818-989-2110 x21
Fax: 818-989-2110 x24
www.leftdakota.com
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