Re: AUGD: Hecklers/Unstable people at meetings
Re: AUGD: Hecklers/Unstable people at meetings
- Subject: Re: AUGD: Hecklers/Unstable people at meetings
- From: Jean Hunter <email@hidden>
- Date: Sun, 12 Apr 2009 21:07:17 -0400
Hi Dave,
Your initial description made the "problem member" sound like someone
with high functioning autism or Asperger syndrome. People with autism
spectrum disorders often run afoul of rules, stated and unstated,
because they don't perceive that the rule is there, or because sensory
stimuli (fluorescent lights flickering, noise, strong perfumes)
distract or annoy them so much that they can't apply what they do know
about fthe rules.
In the case of an autie/aspie meeting participant, coaching as I
described is well known to work. Part of the reason I suggested
getting in contact with the person's usual behavior and advocacy coach
is to offload part of the burden of the explanations etc. onto them.
On the other hand, if the problem member is hostile and intimidating
enough that you are concerned with the personal safety of anyone
trying to discuss the individual's behavior with him, this goes beyond
the case where coaching him about rules will be much help.
Best wishes,
Jean
On Apr 12, 2009, at 6:38 PM, Dave G wrote:
Wouldn't happen to have a suggested code of conduct we could borrow,
would you?
Unfortunately the email address he used bounces, though he claims it's
a fine working one (again it causes an argument). I'm not one to
guess a person's behavior, but other professionals in our group
indicate this is a "deeper issue" and he's most likely being treated
for it. I'm not sure this is a "boundary issue", as we've told him
many times not to interrupt (and that's when he tends to get
aggressive).
I disagree though with Jean that we can sit down an explain things to
this person. First, is the issue of safety. Secondly, we don't have
the time, resources or skills to do it.
I'm leaning towards coming up with some basic rules, putting it on our
website, and possibly presenting it at the beginning of our meetings
along with the: no food/drink, cell phones on vibrate, etc.
On Sun, Apr 12, 2009 at 4:17 PM, Chris Hart, Pres, ctmac.org
<email@hidden> wrote:
This is indeed a difficult situation, that I wouldn't wish upon any
group.
"Open to the public" doesn't mean that you have to take anyone and
everyone,
if they refuse to conduct themselves in a civil manner and within the
group's guidelines. You have a group to run and an obligation to
help the
members learn in a comfortable and friendly environment.
Our MUG did have a member a few years ago who had issues with
dealing with
group social situations and was on medication to control his
symptoms. When
he was on the meds he was fine, but when he would forget, he could
sometimes
cause tension.
As was said, setting boundaries is important. I would contact this
person
prior to the next meeting and establish the guidelines for group
conduct.
Ask him if he feels he can conduct himself within these guidelines
and ask
for a commitment to do so. Don't hesitate to tell him that if he
cannot
fulfill this commitment that you'll rescind his invitation to
meetings and
refund his membership fee.
So that this person cannot claim that he's being singled out, I
would post
your guidelines for conduct at your meeting space. Post it at the
door, or
even at multiple locations. Print it in as large a font as
possible, so
it's unmistakable.
-Chris
On 4/12/09 2:49 PM, "Dave G" <email@hidden> wrote:
As a group open to the public, I've witnessed a participant
"heckling"
to the point of scaring people. We've gently tried to talk over him
and politely asked him to respect other's but it doesn't seem to
work.
If someone is a paid member/pays for meetings, I find it extremely
difficult to ask them to leave.
Often times he'll interrupt the speaker saying they are "wrong" or
making inappropriate comments. Sometimes, he'll just keep asking
questions and blurt them out without being recognized by the meeting
leader
I'm sure the User Group veterans have a slew of ideas and past
experiences on how to handle this, so bring them on. I guess I
should
be glad in 15 years or so in being involved with User Groups I've
never seen this problem.
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